To improve your self-esteem, you can harness the power and influence of your thoughts and beliefs. These are the steps to take.
Low self-esteem can have a negative impact on almost every aspect of your life, from your relationships to your job to your health. You can improve your self-esteem with the help of various types of mental counseling.
These steps are based on cognitive behavior therapy.
1. Identify troublesome situations or conditions
Consider the situations or conditions that can deflate your self-esteem. These are some common triggers:
Presentation of a school or work project
Crisis at home or at work
Problems with your spouse, loved one or co-worker, or any other close contact
Changes in life or roles, such as job loss or child departure
2. Be aware of your thoughts and beliefs
After identifying troubling situations, pay close attention to what you think about them. This includes your self-talk and interpretation of the situation. You might have positive, negative, or neutral thoughts. These beliefs can be rational, based upon facts or reason, or irrational based upon false ideas.
Consider whether these beliefs are true. What would you tell a friend about these beliefs? You wouldn’t tell them to a friend if you didn’t want to.
3. Negative or incorrect thinking should be challenged
You might not see a situation in the same way you think it is. So make sure to verify your initial thoughts. Consider whether your initial thoughts are consistent with logic and facts, or if there might be other explanations.
It can be difficult to spot inaccuracies within your thinking. Although many beliefs and thoughts are held for a long time, they can seem normal and factual.
Pay attention to thoughts that can lower self-esteem.
All-or-nothing thinking. You can see everything as either good or bad. You can see that if I fail to complete this task, it is a failure.
Mental filtering. Negatives are what you see and dwell on them. This can distort your perception of people or situations. Example: “I made a mistake in that report, and now everyone will see I’m not up for this job.”
Converting positives into negatives. Negatives can be used to discredit your successes and other positive experiences. You might say, “I did not do well on that test because it was easy.”
Jumping to negative conclusions. When there is no supporting evidence, you can jump to a negative conclusion. Example: “My friend hasn’t responded to my email so I must have done some to make her mad.”
It is easy to mistake feelings for facts. It is easy to confuse beliefs or feelings with facts. You can say, for example, “I feel like I’m a failure so I must be a failed.”
Negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can lead to self-deprecating humor, low self-esteem and self-deprecating behavior. You can say, “I don’t deserve anything better.”
4. Change your beliefs and thoughts
Replace negative and inaccurate thoughts with positive, constructive thoughts. These strategies are great:
Be positive. Be kind to yourself and encourage others. Instead of worrying that your presentation will not go smoothly, tell yourself, “Even though this is difficult, I can handle it.”
Be kind to yourself. Everybody makes mistakes, but they aren’t permanent reflections of you as an individual. These are isolated moments in time. You can say, “I made an error, but it doesn’t make you a bad person.”
Avoid using’should’ or’must’ words. These words can lead to unreasonable expectations on you and others. These words can be removed from your mind to help you set realistic expectations.
Keep your eyes on the positive. Look at the positive aspects of your life. Think about the skills that you have used to deal with difficult situations.
Take stock of what you have learned. What can you do to make it a positive experience next time?
Label upsetting thoughts. Negative thoughts don’t have to be negative. Negative thoughts can be used as signals to create new, healthier patterns. Ask yourself: “What can you do to make this less stressful?”
Encourage yourself. Recognize yourself for making positive changes. Example: “My presentation may not have been perfect but my colleagues asked questions, and remained engaged — which is a sign that I achieved my goal.”
These steps can also be used to help you accept and commit therapy.
1. Identify troublesome situations or conditions
Think about situations or conditions that can lower your self-esteem. After you have identified the troubling situations, start to pay attention to what your thoughts are about them.
2. Retire from your thoughts
You can repeat your negative thoughts several times, or you can write them in an unusual manner such as with your nondominant hands. Visualize your negative thoughts being written on various objects. They might be the subject of a song in your head.
These exercises will help you to take a step back and observe your thoughts and beliefs. You don’t have to change your thoughts. Instead, you can distance yourself from them. They are just words.
3. Accept your thoughts
Accept them, instead of trying to resist, resist, or be overwhelmed by negative feelings or thoughts, They don’t have be liked, you can just feel them.
Negative thoughts do not need to be changed, controlled or acted upon. You can reduce the influence of negative thoughts on your behavior and control their power.
Although these steps may seem difficult at first, they will become easier as you practice. You can change your thinking or counter the negative thoughts that contribute to low self-esteem by learning to recognize them. You will be able to accept yourself as a person. Your self-esteem will increase and your sense of well-being will improve.
These are just a few of the many things you can do to show your appreciation. You can do this by:
Take care of your health. Good health guidelines are important. Exercise at least 30 minutes per day, every day. Get lots of fruits, vegetables and other healthy foods. Avoid sweets, junk food, and animal fats.
Do what you love. Make a list of the things you enjoy doing. You should try to complete something on that list each day.
Spend time with people that make you smile. Do not waste your time with people who aren’t treating you well.
Copyright – Classicalnet